Still in a daze like my mind is not able to catch up with the events that have transpired I find myself starring at Ann's mouth and nodding yes to whatever sounds come out of it and before I realize what has transpired I am signing a confidentiality agreement, taking her card and shaking her hand as I walk out of the station. I don’t know if it was the fear of being thrown in jail, or my drive to see how deep this rabbit hole goes, but apparently I am now some sort of an assistant to Lieutenant Ann Hegemony, and I am working undercover to find Bruce Bighorn and uncover the truth behind the events surrounding the murder of Bea Hegemony, formerly Bruce’s girlfriend and Ann’s younger sister.
A minute or two passes and cab pulls up and I get in, clutching Bruce’s journal ‘at least I have the journal’ I think to myself. I tell the cab my address and he pulls out of the lot, I feel a slight sense of relief for once today; at least I know where this ride ends.
The rocking of the cab puts and the creaking of the worn out shocks puts me at ease, I let out a sigh of relief and lean back into the smelly seat and watch out the window as the world goes by.
My mind switches gears and I laugh a little thinking about the day, and I think about Ann. After her sister’s death, she transferred from the Chicago PD to investigate the incident herself. After a while she went into internal affairs.
She spoke about her sister and how she was incredibly intelligent and, like her, was also a lawyer and police officer. She told me that Bea was about to become an agent for the FBI but when she met Bruce she seemed to stop caring about her career.
After about a month of dating Bea started living in a dumpster with Bruce, behind Taco Bell. Ann recounted the time that she flew into town to see her sister and was shocked to find that she moved out of her house. Bea invited her over to have dinner, and they tried to get her to eat taco salads that were made from remnants of discarded tacos that they found in the garbage. She says that they laughed at her when she refused to eat the food and they said “Good, more for us!”
Ann felt that as time went on something about her sister had changed, she acted as though she was on drugs, or worse that maybe Bruce had somehow brainwashed her. Bea's behavior was effatic and her thoughts were irrational, and after a while she couldn’t communicate with her anymore, she would go on and on about robots and aliens and the end of the world.
Anne belives that Bruce has a large following of many formerly successful people who were now living what is called “the life”. She pointed at the journal and said to me “that thing is dangerous”. She may be right, but I pretend to shrug off her warning and tell her that I had met Bruce and I felt that he was harmless, and crazy. She disagreed, She states that she once tried to have Bruce committed to a Psychiatric facility but he was quickly released after his initial evaluation. She says Bruce is not crazy or psychotic, he is rational focused and makes every move count toward his goal. She did say that she believes Bruce to be dangerous and psychopathological because his goals seem to be based in delusions.
After speaking with Ann about Bruce It was apparent to me that she thinks Bruce is a potentially dangerous person, but she does not think he was the murderer. Indirectly perhaps, and he may have information that could lead to the capture of the real killer
What I found most interesting about our conversation is when she said “Entry 374 and 947 may help shed some light on what Bruce is trying to accomplish. Combine the first paragraph from 374 with the third paragraph in 947 and it may help you to better understand Bruce’s message” She knows the journal, she must have studied it, maybe in great detail and maybe with Bruce himself. I was shocked, and I felt validated also, 'I knew that there was a code to the journal!' My subconcious mind picked up something and was constantly processing and rearranging pieces of the puzzle, but it was a slow and painful process, like someone putting together a jigsaw puzzle in the dark.
Entry 374
The world that I see and the world that sees me is merely perception and is not important to anyone. That is why it is so important. People are their perception. They see a world only to see themselves, however they do not truly see themselves in the world, because the world as they see never truly existed….Monks and philosophers have abandoned society and material possessions to gain insight to the true nature of themselves, and the meaning of life.
Entry 947
….You can not see the world as it exists if you are bound by the illusion of society. Society is a set up, designed to trap you into becoming a slave. Follow that path and you will fail to place yourself in this life properly and you fail to truly see this world. You must step outside of yourself in order to shed the preconception and bias that blind you from the true meaning of your existence. I have found this place outside of myself. I found myself hovering over my entire life and viewing it as if it was in a glass case in front of me. I watch the inevitable consequences propel me forward through life without any exertion of my own will, as if I was watching someone else. I wept because I then I knew I had not know myself. This it is the path to enlightenment.
